for salt is the most important of seasonings. it makes our food taste like anything at all. without it, our meals boring and bland. it enriches all it touches, giving a dish life. when it rains, it pours. a pinch here, a teaspoon there. i’ve no measurable amount of gratitude for the salt you’ve enriched my life with.

The little house sparrows keep oscillating from the bush out front to the ledge of the roof. Occasionally their wings all flutter at the same moment resulting in a sound that almost resembles sudden rainfall. The coffee was pretty good this morning, I quite like the one I got from the local co-op. … … It sure is busy this morning. I spoke with Ainsley on Facetime for what started out as a conversation about hollandaise sauce. I haven’t got a clue how to make it, but I’ve substituted with a mixture of mayonnaise, mustard, and vinegar a few times. We chatted about plants, settling into our new spaces and places. I was reminded about the similarities here with home, but also the differences. Its neat how close these birds are.

It’s a cool late-summer morning, a sunday, and I’m sipping on my coffee that tastes like Columbus, Georgia. Having the windows open first thing in the morning is quite a treat, and I sadly anticipate the time of year this won’t be available. Each morning I’ve been trying to start the day off with mindfulness and body awareness. A breif meditation session followed by a radio taiso routine, sometimes I throw in some extra hamstring stretches at the end. This morning, I felt compelled to right for a bit before me and my new neighbor and friend, Annie, go for a run. It’s been nagging at be all year, this compulsion to write. The compulsion to read has be gnawing at my left ear just as much. Having treated myself to this new computer with this thocky keyboard, writing is just like eating a boston cream donut at the Brimfield Flea Market. That donut yesterday was something special. I’ve never in my life had a boston cream that rendered me speechless. Joshua being in grad school means he’s got a lot to read, and one of those things is Bird by Bird by Anne Larmotte. She’s a writer, obviously, but also a writing coach. Bird by Bird is Lamotte’s advice column of a paperback on how to be a better, and more fulfilled writer. Her advice is exactly what my old mentor from undergrad preached, just make. Just make all the time. Make when you’re happy, make when you’re sad. Make the worst stuff you’ll ever make. Everything is a first draft, and no one has to see it. That’s why you make all the time, so you can take those first drafts and dress’em up a little as a second draft, then a third, then you got yourself a nice piece of writing. It’s good advice. I don’t know why I’ve been compelled to write so much lately. I feel my piney-south georgian accent screaming to be heard and paid some mind. The idiolect I had adopted in Columbus was good, it served it’s purpose, and I expanded my vocabulary there more than I imagined. But at the same time I feel like I’m forsaking my mama, my nana, and my grandma by givin’ up words like ‘buggy’, ‘fixin’, and phrases I’ve already sent to this virtual peice of paper.

We’ve been in Connecticut for just over a week now. Settling in has definitely had its stressful moments, but overall the move has been smooth. Our friends Ainsley and Gena arrived last Saturday to help us get the bulk of unpacking done. All four of us have moved within the last three months. On Thursday we visited Wesleyan’s campus, where I’ll be working for the next eight or so months. Hopefully there’s a path for me to keep working there more long term, given I don’t get worn out by the hour-long commute in my ‘02 Tacoma each day. The campus is absolutely beautiful and the arts buildings spit brutalism in your face. A nice feature of the buildings is most a connected via an underground tunnel. Moreover, my supervisor, Kate, is super pleasant and excited to work with me just as much as I am her. Before we know it, Joshua will be starting his classes. I know he’s excited, but he is even more excited to have a studio with lots and lots of studio time. His work lately has been insanely curious and wills me to study things I hadn’t considered before. This new wave of interest he’s had is full of gumption and typical Joshua spirit, and it makes me oh so eager to see his upcoming journey. Leaving Georgia was quite a tough decision, but every step of the way, not a single doubt took root. We both feel in our hearts that this was the best decision for us and we are both just content to be together in this new place. I told Joshua on Thursday, on the way back from Middletown, I was so scared I would feel a hole leaving our friends back in Georgia, but in fact I’ve found that the love we all have for each other is so strong, that couldn’t be further from the truth. The hole I was worried about is overflowing with love, and I’m ready to fill it with more with new friends here in Connecticut.

y’all said it!

THERE ARE ORANGE TREES EVERYWHERE IN THE SAN JUAQUIN VALLEY
'EVERYBODY THERE IS SO NICE'
'I REALLY ADMIRE THAT YOU LIKE PHYSICS'
'WE HAVE STICK AT HOME!'
'THE MOUNTAIN IS CALLING ME'
'IT'S JUST THE PARASITIC TICKS'

It’s hard to describe the feelings I have. A lot of gratitude for the experiences I’m earning. Eddie talked about viberations, but that feels too loud. Butch’s intertwanglism is too culturally specific. Both were onto something though. When you begin to see it, you can’t unsee it. The Egg, the Universe, yada yada, yes- BUT. Magic, spirits, living earth. There’s something OUT THERE. And yesterday I felt it. Felt? Today I SAW it. But looks and feels are quite different in this place. A visual version of the Realm of Sonorous Being.

What is all of this?

The snow made me very happy. I was elated we got to experience the park in this ‘off season’ way. Being is fun. Existing is rewarding. All these questions make me happy. The gratitude grows. I’m finding myself being grateful for the pain, fear, and anxiety as much as the awe, the love, and the pleasure.